i got that boom boom pow!

once upon a time, i took a math class wherein this "brilliant" teacher (attempted) to teach me how to save time by doing the problem right the first time and eliminate the need for a trial-and-error solution finding style. i failed that class. three times. not only am i really bad at math, i also kind of enjoy trial-and-error. okay, so it's not so fun when you're trying to solve some algebra equation (especially when there is a time limit and such) but, generally speaking it's kind of lovely. math failure aside, these last 26 years of my life have been like one big trial and error process. lots of errors. lots. i am happy to report that i have finally found my calling in life. before i tell you what it is, please bear in mind that i have searched far and wide to discover this particular path and am seeking genuine support from all my peeps (that's you, i hate the easter candy. gross.). okay, are you ready? really and truly ready for this epic revelation? if not, better not to read on. just turn off your computer, walk away, and return at some future time when you feel you are fully prepared to read this and follow through with your commitment to love and support me in my endeavors. didn't make that commitment you say? wrong. you should have read the fine print. well, here goes...
i
am
going
to
be
a
kickball
player
second baseman to be exact.
turns out, all those years watching my older brother play little league (while loathing the idea of participating myself) have finally paid off. i am on a pretty epic kickball team. yes, that's a real thing. i only committed to playing because a friend of mine asked me to. i figured, no matter how bad i am, i owe it to him to at least try. we have known each other for like 13 years, after all...so i gave it a go. i used to love to play kickball on the playground in elementary school, but that was a LONG time ago, and since then i have only played with children who are in elementary school. i'm pretty good against a bunch of third graders, but who isn't? so, i went into the whole thing knowing my skills were rudimentary and likely to be disappointing, and i told this to the team. the last thing i needed was for them to have unrealistic expectations about my athleticism. they assured me that it would be fine. i'm not sure they really grasped the gravity of the situation. have i mentioned that i'm really slow? i am. really slow. slow enough, in fact, that i was almost overtaken by the kicker behind me in the line-up while running bases. really slow. good news is, you don't have to be fast to play second base, you just have to be able to catch decently. now that i can do! i would like to take this opportunity to thank my older brother for being such a boy and forcing me to play catch with him in the back yard. also, for throwing stuff at me unexpectedly. reflexes are very important in kickball. i would like to extend my gratitude to my parents for enrolling me in dance classes as a child as well. for that, my friends, is where i developed these wicked kicking skills. and to my various choir teachers who helped me to develop this loud voice of mine, thank you for endowing me with the skills to effectively communicate with my teammates on the field. it seems my whole life has been building up to this very profession. now if only i could figure out how to get paid for it...

yeah, that sounds about right

i was having a discussion with a friend of mine and i mentioned this little blog of mine (of which he was totally unaware. figures) and his reaction was a little disconcerting. and by a little, i mean a lot. he said something about how he could totally picture me blogging. i realize that doesn’t read as offensive, but it sure sounded it.  he was all smug when he said it too. clearly, he has never experienced the sheer awesomeness of my ranting.  okay, that’s not true. he’s heard it many a time, but he’s never read it.  so what does he know? yes, i am a blogger. i use this public forum to express my thoughts, feelings and opinions. yes, i rant and rave a little bit. what of it? i like it here in the blogosphere. i like getting these things out and knowing that someone, somewhere is reading it and maybe even agreeing with me.i really like when people leave comments. i think my points are valid, and interesting. whether you agree with me or not, i think it is important to open yourself up to the world, to share what makes you unique and wonderful. most of all, i like that being here, doing this, allows me to share me with you. i get to be a part of your life, and you get to be a part of mine in a way that isn’t possible in any other arena. i am a fan of the whole thing. so, unnamed friend that is judging me for doing this, i say to you, what are you doing to share you?
that’s what i thought.

5/23-5/29

sunday: naptime
monday: colby cheated at 4 on a couch. seriously?! not necessary (also, not good at it)
tuesday: homemade peach pie from danny
wednesday: 50 states challenge
thursday: turned in final paperwork to leave my job
friday: water balloon launch
saturday: BOISE!!!

for the love...

i just made about 6,000 rosettes for work. okay, that's an exaggeration. i only made 5,000 and by 5,000 i mean 30. still, that's a lot of rosettes. i must say, they turned out pretty cute, even if they are pink:

so, while i'm sewing these little buggers (by hand no less) i got to thinking about my new plan to embrace the life i'm living now and live it on purpose and all that. my plan of attack? post-it notes. i don't mean i plan to attack someone with post-its (although that would be borderline amazing...) i mean i'm going to attack my post-its. the thing is, i'm obsessed with post-its. the inventor should get a nobel prize or something.  post-its save lives. they save mine anyway. i use at least 12 a day. not kidding. don't believe me? enter exhibit A: my bathroom mirror (and yes, that is a giant poster of james dean in the background)

exhibit B: just above my nightstand (please ignore the hand lotion pump in the corner):

still not convinced? exhibit C: my bedroom wall (posted 3+ deep)

i rest my case.
so i have all these post-it notes and they represent about a thousand different things (i'm not exaggerating this time) from shopping lists to memorable quotes to crazy middle-of-the-night bursts of inspiration.  i am most concerned with the latter category.  i don't know why, but i get my best ideas in the wee small hours of the morning in those moments between sleep and wakefulness (kind of like right now), but i'm not about to drag myself out of bed to do anything about it.  let's face it, i barely follow through when i'm fully awake.  this is where post-its=life saver.  i keep a pile of blank ones on my nightstand. this way, the random flash of brilliance is not lost. i simply scribble it on a post-it, stick it to the wall and stare at it in disbelief when i finally do roll out of bed. genius i tell you. if only i could figure out a way to make them more legible. somehow, writing with your eyes closed doesn't lead to super readable notes. who knew? well, once i can figure out what they say, i'm gonna start following through with them. the feasible ones anyway. i hate to break it to you, and myself, but i don't think that a series of salt prints about noah's ark is a viable option. i don't even know how to make salt prints. yet...

beauty is only skin deep...maybe...

i am a people watcher. i am not a sociologist or an anthropologist or any other ologist, but i find human behavior fascinating and i like to analyze it in my own little non-scientific way. through all my "studies" the question that plagues me is this: why is it that you see tons of couples wherein the woman is far more attractive than the man, but rarely (if ever) see the opposite? i have my own theories on the subject but nothing with any concrete evidence, or any evidence at all besides my own opinions and experiences. until now, that is. i just read an article about the attractiveness of each half of a couple and how it affects the relationship. apparently, i'm not the only one who has been wondering. as it turns out this study shows that when the man is more attractive than the woman, he is less supportive, feel less satisfied and aren't as happy as others. on the other hand, when the woman is more attractive, she doesn't have the same issues. weird. also, completely unfair. some of us were really hoping to find an extremely attractive mate for no other reason than to give our kids a chance to be hotties. that plan would work if some of us were men, but the rest of us are out of  luck. or rather, our kids are out of luck. poor them.

5/16-5/22

sunday: rooster cogburn and the lady
monday: finally found a perfect pair of yellow shoes
tuesday: kickball
wednesday: shepherd's pie
thursday: jordan vs. nate
friday: playing mission for 2 hours (that's like a record)
saturday: changing clothes in the car, trying not to flash the fisherman over yonder...

pearls of wisdom

let me just start by saying that i am brilliant. seriously. need some proof? done. the other day my dear friend, let's call him butch (NOT his real name), posted this status on facebook: You would think that growing up with 4 older sisters would give me an extra advantage when it comes to understanding women but no, in the end I am still as confused as every other guy. (holding tounge now to keep from saying what I want to say)

apparently this was a sore subject since there were already 12 comments when i got there. turns out, butch is super popular.  anyway, it was clear that butch was not the only one who was confused. thus, i posted the most marvelous explanation i could come up with:  women are just as confused by female behavior as you are. we don't know what we want. and we often do things and then think "why did i do that?" then we go home and talk it over with our roommates (or call our mom or best friend) and eventually come to the conclusion that it must have been YOUR fault, because it couldn't possibly have been ours. the thing is, while we're having these conversations and reassuring our friend/cousin/sister we are thinking the same thing you are: "she's crazy!!!!!" we're not about to say that to her though. she could unleash all that crazy on us, and we would much rather she unleash it on you (or anyone else for that matter). the key to being happy with a woman is to embrace the crazy. don't try to understand it, because, my friend, you never, ever will (and neither will we)

told ya. i'm a genius and i'm not the only one who thinks so either. see:

I don't know Lindsay, but she is extremely smart. I'm pretty sure she hit the nail on the head. That should be your new theme "Embrace the crazy". One additional note there though. There is a little crazy in all women, and then there are women that are the poster children for crazy. Stay away from them! Love ya.

 

and now we have reached the root of your problem. you have to stop thinking in terms of right and wrong. no such thing. i think i already told you that we don't know what we want, and thus there is no right answer, because we might change our mind in 10 minutes. there is no solution, you just have to get used to it (that's me again)

and by the way, I completely agree with Lindsay. We have no clue what we want and are often just hell-bent on making the rest of you as confused as we are :)

 

Lindsay - You should probably know I have been informed by my sisters that you have now given the best explanation of women that ever was. (butch again)

 

i have amazing insight. people should pay me for this...

ultimate tree houses

just in case my last tree house post wasn't enough, here are some more amazing tree houses for your viewing pleasure.

5/9-5/15

sunday: locked myself out of the apartment, but spent some time with my neighbor to make up for it
monday: talking about art with colby
tuesday: cold peach cobbler for breakfast
wednesday: ultimate frisbee
thursday: pizza with the kiddos
friday: hugs and kisses from my nephews
saturday: watching my sister run her first 5k (and spending time with the fam after)

i was not prepared for this!

i was watching penelope the other day (cute movie. if you haven't seen it, you should) and i was struck by this line somewhere in the middle. penelope's dad is talking to her mom about the current state of their daughter's life and he says "we've spent so much time preparing her for the day that things are different, we never prepared her for the day that they are not." pretty profound moment in a cute little romantic comedy/modern day fairytale.  anyway, i woke up in the middle of the night after a super crazy dream (seriously crazy. it woke me up. that never happens) and once i fully regained consciousness, the ability to reason and had expelled the insanity that had previously been rolling around in my head, i had a thought. that's right i had a thought. who knew. so i had this thought about my life and about how everything up to this point has really only been a preparation for some day in the future when things will finally work out the way i (and apparently everyone else) had always hoped it would. i've spent all this time preparing for the day that things are different, i never prepared for the day that they are not. granted, penelope was waiting to break a curse and shed her piggy face, and i have no such curse, but i think it still applies. the thought returned earlier today as i was watching a lot like love (i watch a lot of movies. i probably have too much time on my hands) and there is this part where the older brother says (actually he signs it. he's deaf, but it's really the same thing so this parenthetical was unnecessary. sorry) "oliver, this is your life. right now. it doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet." this is my life. right now. it's happening and i feel like i'm missing it because i spend so much time looking forward to the next phase of my life, that i forget to enjoy this one. not okay! new plan. live life on purpose. it's time to stop saying "someday..." and start doing all the things i keep saying i'm going to do with my life. hopefully this means plenty of blog posts about all of the wonderful and exciting things i'm doing with my life (present tense, not future), so you should all look forward to that...