Saturday, April 26, 2014

top ten signs you're not getting enough sleep

top ten signs you're not getting enough sleep
  1. upon waking up you are unable to determine what day of the week it is
  2. upon waking up you are unsure as to where, exactly, you are
  3. waking up is an extremely trying experience
  4. you wake up in a tizzie convinced that you are late for something (which may or may not be true).
  5. you actually manage to forget to pour milk over your cereal and don't realize the mistake until you've already eaten a few bites
  6. you made it through a portion of your day before realizing you only have makeup on half of your face
  7. you've read 5 or more books in the past 2 weeks
  8. you find yourself sleeping standing up. in the shower.
  9. you can't remember if you did any of these things today
  10. you are a mom

Monday, April 21, 2014

i find myself unable to appropriately title this post

you guys. i don't even know where to start. first of all, let me just point out that for the third night this week i have stayed up way too late crying over a book (the fourth book i've finished in the past seven days. maybe i should get out more...). i do that a lot actually. i sometimes worry that i am more emotionally invested in the lives of fictional characters than i am in my own. i should probably work on that.

but, have you ever finished a book and immediately want to turn back to the beginning and read it again? it doesn't happen super often, but when it happens it is a deep and profound experience. i mean, there is a sort of hierarchy of books. it goes something like this:

level one: books that exist, but you really aren't sure why. they are terrible and you would probably never even finish one of these books unless it is (for some indiscernible reason) required for a class or something. i hate these books with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. i also hate the teachers/professors who turn them into reading assignments. evil.

level two: books that are not great. books that aren't even good. books that actually kinda suck, but you power through them because you keep hoping they'll get better (which, of course, they don't) and when you're done you basically regret the decision to ever have started and you definitely regret all the time you put in to actually reading them. these books fill me with rage.

level three: books that don't suck. books that you genuinely enjoy in the moment, but which are thoroughly forgettable and rarely discussed. there is nothing actually wrong with them, but there isn't anything really right with them either. their okay, and that's okay.

level four: here you will find books that are more than just not bad but which are actually books quite good. these are books that you might recommend to a friend with similar taste or something. these are books that make you glad that books exist

level five: really, really good books. books that you recommend to a lot of people even if you have no idea what kind of books they like because you are sure they will like these books-or at least not hate them. these are books you revisit from time to time because you kind of miss them. these are books that fundamentally change the way you think about books.

level six: really, really, super incredibly awesome books. these are the books that you recommend to everyone. i mean, EVERYONE. these are the books that fundamentally change the way you look at everything. these are the books you read over and over and over again because there a sort of void in your life when these characters are not a part of it. it is as if they become a part of you in some way and even though it makes no sense, it is as if you become a part of them.

so, somewhere in this hierarchy of books lies every book you've ever read, and every book you haven't read, and every book that you have yet to read. every. one. and though you genuinely hope that every book you read will be a level six book, you know that is a ridiculously unrealistic hope. so, you attempt to avoid, but sometimes succumb to the ones and twos, tolerate the threes and fours and embrace the fives when you can. and, on the exceedingly rare occasion that you find a six, you glory in it. you revel in it. you finish it. GAH! it's over! now what?! i mean, it's not like life will ever be the same again (except, you know, it totally is. especially since this transformative experience was had by you and you alone). so you have the urge to turn back to the beginning and start reading again.

gosh, i love those books.

anyway, the whole point of this post was to tell you that i just read the most incredible book.

okay, so i know i'm a little late to the party with this incredible revelation, but seriously, it is SOOOOO GOOD!!!! brace yourselves, here come the it.

yes, that's all i'm going to say about it. just read it. oh, and if by some minuscule chance you don't actually love it the way i love it, don't tell me you don't love it because it might just break my heart if you do.