Friday, November 30, 2012

sometimes, i get angry

and when i get angry i write these sorts of posts. sorry.

dear parents,
i understand that you are frustrated that the bus is late, but since i am neither on the bus nor psychically controlling it, getting mad at me won't do you any good. plus, i have to wait for them to get back too. it's not as if i WANT to stay here for an extra half-hour that i'm not actually getting paid for, and i am most certainly not enjoying all the dirty looks and frustrated sighs.
p.s. one of your children puked on the carpet/furniture on the way out. thanks for ducking out the door without even offering to help, leaving me to stay even longer and clean it up. oh, and he was part of the reason the bus was late, just fyi

maybe i should have called in sick and put up my Christmas decorations instead...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

awkward teen tuesday

"i'm resistant to sunshine"
are you now? is that like the opposite of being allergic to sunshine?

"...february 31st..."
wouldn't that be a TERRIBLE birthday?! no party ever, YIKES!

"a boot attacked my face!"
do you mean that you hit yourself in the face with a boot? because that's equally embarrassing

"your hair is hairy."
why thank you. i work so hard to keep it that way

"you hipped my elbow!"

i was unaware that hip could be used as a verb. come to think of it, it can't. we may need to have a little chat about parts of speech...

Friday, November 16, 2012

helping hands

i was going to write a big post about this, but i'm a big crying mess right now and i am struggling to formulate coherent thoughts so instead, i'll just let this video speak for itself. please take a few minutes to watch and stay right to the very end, i promise you won't regret it. and if you want to cry with me, i won't judge you. it's beautiful.

it is things like this that remind me of how wonderful the human race is. i want to extend a big, fat, enthusiastic thank you to all of the volunteers who have banded together to help those who have been affected by this disaster and the many others across the world, and an especially huge thank you to those who have helped my friends when, as much as i wanted to be, i was unable to be there myself.

if you would like more information about mormon helping hands and other humanitarian aid efforts organized by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, click here

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

awkward teen tuesday

it's my favorite day of the week:

"i felt my brain bounce!" fell out of a chair. your brain may have bounced, but since that's the most activity it has seen in quite some time i suggest you be grateful you have a brain and maybe start treating it better

"i have little boy swag"
you are a teenage girl. this is weird.

"i put my front arms..."
as opposed to your back arms...?

the rest of these are from the same conversation with a single teen. oy vey!

"martin luther junior king...junior martin luther king...martin junior luther king..."
none of those are correct. care to try again?

(in reference to martin luther king jr.) "he's the reason why i can talk whenever i want"
no. he's not. he did a lot of wonderful things, but securing you the right to say stupid things whenever you want is not among them. also, i'm pretty sure he would face palm if he heard you speaking right now.

(also in reference to mlk jr.) "he's the one who saved all the white people"
seriously?! he saved the white people? from what exactly? i would very much like to hear this story, mostly because i'm fairly certain it will be filled with many more of these embarrassing (for you) moments.

"get off my body foot"
i'm just gonna let that one sink in a little bit...

"it amuses me and i don't even know what that word means."
brilliant. please continue using words you don't understand. i'm sure it will really pay off for you in the long run. you actually managed to use this one correctly so who knows?!

"i'm going to eat the blood out of you"
i would ask if you were a vampire, but you said "eat" and vampires "drink" so i'm a little confused. are you intending to let the blood congeal? possibly make blood pudding out of it? well, too bad because you can't have it! i'm still using it

"terry just farted. it smells so bad, it smells like cinnamon buns. he cinnamon bunned on this chair."
i was unaware that "cinnamon bun" could be used as a verb. in all honesty, i'm still laughing at this one...

also, this is my 200th post. i think i will celebrate by eating chocolate

Sunday, November 11, 2012

pumpkin spice playlist

as promised, here are the songs i am listening to on repeat this season. i know i sort of missed a couple of months, but better late than never. to be honest, i didn't actually miss them, i am just slow to share.