Wednesday, April 25, 2012

dear fictional boys

so i've been wanting to participate in this dear boys business for a while, but i have no boys to dear. not real ones, anyway. solution? dear fictional boys.

dear flynn rider,
if i could date a cartoon, it would be you. of course, i would have to become a cartoon for that to work. is that even possible? maybe it would be better if you were decartoonized. yeah, let's try that.
love,
not a disney princess wannabe

dear peeta mellark,
i'm really sorry they miscast the movie version of you, but i was all about gale anyway. right up until the end of the third book at which point he lost me and you won me over.
yours (but not fully),
not completely convinced

dear romeo,
juliet was a child and you were a hormonal teenage boy who couldn't make up his mind. why in the world would you do something so final based a feeling that was most likely temporary? i'm sorry, but i have to say that you are a moron and everybody who thinks your story is romantic is clearly missing the point.
sincerely,
someone with a more optimistic outlook on life and love




Monday, April 23, 2012

30 by 30

no, no, not dimensions, a list. a to-do list. 30 things to do before i turn 30. i hate to say it, but i am running out of time here! i am less than a year and a half from my thirtieth birthday and i've got a long way to go on this list. which is why i am sharing it. i read somewhere that you are more likely to follow through on a goal if you write it down (check) and if you share it with someone. quite frankly, i could use as much help as i can get! so, without further ado, my 30 by 30 (in no particular order):
  1. ride in a hot air balloon
  2. complete a triathlon
  3. run the race to robie creek
  4. live alone (check)
  5. write a book
  6. learn to surf
  7. snowboard
  8. have an epic food fight
  9. attend the world championship porcupine races (check)
  10. go scuba diving
  11. kayak
  12. learn to drive stick
  13. water ski
  14. sing on stage (check)
  15. eat on a rooftop
  16. sell a piece of art
  17. go rock climbing
  18. travel to a foreign country
  19. read the book of mormon from start to finish
  20. cartwheel across a city street
  21. watch a sunset and stay up for the sunrise
  22. complete the rory gilmore reading list
  23. be a better person
  24. be on jeopardy
  25. go snorkeling (check)
  26. visit new york (check)
  27. be awesome (check)
  28. fall in love (check)
  29. learn to play an instrument
  30. attend the festival of colors (check)

Sunday, April 22, 2012

be a better person

remember a long time ago when i told you that i was proposed to by a third grader? well, he's about to finish fourth grade and is still, somehow, convinced that we should wed. he is obviously unaware of all the things every other boy in my life notices. poor kid. i was talking to a friend about this kids crush and she wanted to hear the story. it's pretty funny, so i'll share it with you too.

i was at work, and this kid was just working my last nerve, and everybody else's too. well, he did something (i can't remember what) to land him in an office having a little chat with me, and by chat i mean getting in trouble. anyway, at the end of the conversation, he got up and stormed out of the room, turning around to yell at me before slamming the door. what did he yell? he told me i should "BE A BETTER PERSON!!!!!!" i had to pull him back in and talk a but more at that point and he was still angry with me when he left. the next day he apologized and presented me with a friendship bracelet he had made just for me. awwww. and then, after i forgave him for everything that had happened and told him we could start over, he proposed. i, of course, declined, but i still wear my bracelet.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

a good attitude goes a long way

right? right?i hope right, because i need my good attitude to bring the maintenance guy(s) to my apartment. this is the maintenance request i filed today:

"While doing laundry yesterday, I noticed that my washing machine was making a horrible squeaky sound and emitting a distinctly burnt smell. The spin cycle doesn't seem to be working as my clothes were still dripping wet at the end of it. I don't know much about washing machines, but I can't imagine this is a good thing."

i call this a good attitude. i mean, it's not angry or demanding or anything. plus, i used correct spelling and grammar. this might go over better if i actually knew the maintenance guys. here's hoping they are super impressed and take care of the issue quickly because i have heaps more laundry to do.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012