march madness

madness is an understatement really. i'm pretty serious about my brackets. yes, i meant to put that 's' there. i filled out 5. yep. 5 brackets. 5 different brackets. and i used 5 different strategies.

the first one i filled out fairly quickly. i basically just picked the teams that i like/have historically done well.

then i filled out another one where i revisited the match ups that made me nervous the first time and i chose the other team.

then i thought, "this is pretty arbitrary. i should do some research or something and make some educated decisions here." so i did. i looked up each of the teams and made my decisions based on some hardcore information, in the finding of which i had invested a significant amount of time. i picked the team with the most attractive players. i don't know if you knew this, but the best players are always the most attractive ones.

at this point, my coworkers (who were, of course, privy to this entire process) are looking at me like i'm crazy. to which i respond "they don't call it march madness for nothing!" and continue with my fourth bracket. again, based on some serious research. mascots. i got the kids involved on this one. we looked up the mascots and considered a situation in which the mascots-the actual animals/creatures/beings as opposed to the college kid wearing a giant foam head-were engaged in a cage match. the winner of this hypothetical cage match goes down as the winner of the game. "do cage matches work? of course they work. if they didn't, everyone would still be in the cage." bonus points if you can tell me who said that

the fifth and final bracket was the one i ended up using in the office pool. i use the word office loosely. very loosely. i don't work in an office. nothing about my workplace even vaguely resembles an office. i don't even have an office chair. anyhoo, the tournament is in full swing and thus far, the most accurate bracket is the third one. i tried to tell you, there is a direct correlation between attractiveness and ability to play basketball. at least there is in march.