dear fictional boys

so i've been wanting to participate in this dear boys business for a while, but i have no boys to dear. not real ones, anyway. solution? dear fictional boys.

dear flynn rider,
if i could date a cartoon, it would be you. of course, i would have to become a cartoon for that to work. is that even possible? maybe it would be better if you were decartoonized. yeah, let's try that.
love,
not a disney princess wannabe

dear peeta mellark,
i'm really sorry they miscast the movie version of you, but i was all about gale anyway. right up until the end of the third book at which point he lost me and you won me over.
yours (but not fully),
not completely convinced

dear romeo,
juliet was a child and you were a hormonal teenage boy who couldn't make up his mind. why in the world would you do something so final based a feeling that was most likely temporary? i'm sorry, but i have to say that you are a moron and everybody who thinks your story is romantic is clearly missing the point.
sincerely,
someone with a more optimistic outlook on life and love