TIMBER!!!!

well, now that you're clear on how a porcupine race goes down, let me fill you in on what happens after the 'pines go back to the wild. the loggers get their day in the sun. i'm guessing they actually spend quite a lot of time in the sun, but this time, people are watching. the logging skills show consists of 3 events, but i don't know the names of any of them. gimme a break, i'm not a logger! the world class advertisement looks a little something like this:

the first skill has something to do with throwing a choke around a bunch of logs on a semi. it's all timed and stuff, fastest wins.

i did not find this particular event especially exciting. neither did the booger.

the next event was chopping wood. no. not chopping. sawing. yeah, that's the word for it. not just sawing, CHAINsawing. is that a word? chainsawing? is now. call me old fashioned, but i think chainsaws are cheating. sure, they're faster than hand saws, but i was kinda hoping to see some old school, two way, double sawing (i don't think that's what it's really called). beggars can't be choosers though, so i'll take what i can get.

the third event was axe throwing. yep. AXE THROWING! people actually throw axes. who knew? i am just now realizing that this is likely not an entirely useful skill and i sincerely doubt that loggers find it necessary to throw an axe on a regular basis, but it was kinda fun to watch, especially since most of the competitors had consumed a fair amount of beer by the time they stepped up to the plate. yes, i said plate, but what i meant was fluorescent green spray painted 2x4. what are they throwing at? this:

i kid! i kid! this is serious business!

for realsies though...

then they have an obstacle course for the future loggers of america. wait, do you think that's a real organization? i'm looking it up. i'll get back to you on that...