ATC

acronyms are great aren't they? i love 'em. love 'em enough to make up my own. lots. mostly at work. sometimes, i just get tired of saying "that's not club appropriate" so instead i say "NCA." it's quite convenient really.

sometimes, i use an acronym so the kids don't know what i'm talking about. for instance: "GCH." when they ask what it means i simply say "if you don't know, you don't need to."

sometimes, the acronym is created to make something seem more serious than it really is, because that can be funny sometimes. like with "SBS" (soggy bottom syndrome). "don't sit on the couch when you are wet or you will give the next person SBS and that's just not a disease we want to spread."

sometimes, i am forced to invent a new acronym to describe a particular happening for which there are no other words and which i am certain will reoccur. such is the case with the newest addition to my collection. ATC which will henceforth and forever stand for Awkward Teen Conversations.

if you've never spent a significant amount of time with a teenager while not a teenager yourself, you may not grasp the fact that teens are awkward. all the time. i'm not talking about general teen awkwardness. i'm talking about above and beyond the call of duty, stranger than strange, lurpy, super awkwardness. the kind of awkward that makes everyone around them feel awkward. okay, okay, i'll probably use for general awkwardness too. i'm also going to exploit the weirdness and share it with you.

call it cruel, but i just think these things should be shared. i don't want to be the only one making fjun of these kids behind their backs! they'll probably grow out of it anyway.

today's installment of ATC comes to us courtesy of tommy. get used to that name, you'll see it a lot.

tommy (to terry): "i'm going to rip out your beard and take it and touch your sideburns."
terry: ... *confused look to accompany uncomfortable silence