love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably crap

so, at church today we were talking about marriage (big surprise...) and we were asked to make a list of what we are looking for in future spouse. don't hate me, but i hate these lessons. anyway, i decided i would compile a list of deal breakers. i also decided that since i didn't get around to writing a "dear boys" post this week, i would share it with you. without further ado, here is my list-word for word, no amendments, honest to gravy list (which is now taking up residence on my refrigerator):

• alive
• younger than my parents, older than 18
• NOT super creepy
• doesn't make me want to punch him in the face on a regular basis
• tall-ish and/or under 1,000 pounds
• employed
• straight
• NOT a complete moron
• acceptable hygiene practices

you laugh like i'm joking. i'm not. the way i see it, you've gotta cast a wide net-you can always throw them back if they don't measure up, right?