Wednesday, September 18, 2013

dear boys (complete with pictures)

okay, maybe pictures was misleading. graphics would probably have been more accurate, but whatever.

dear boys (yes, all of you),
my attraction to you is directly proportionate to your height. within reason.
i don't know what else to tell you here. be tall, the end.
love,
me


dear boys (yes, all of you),
there is a direct link between your age and my attraction to you as well
fyi, this will change in direct proportion to my age, so getting older won't help you unless it happens overnight. good luck with that.
love,
me


dear boys who fit into the prime attraction window,
it occurs to me that there are a myriad of reasons you are not asking me out, but just in case one of those reasons is that you think i'm busy, let me assure you, i am not.
see? solid proof that i have almost nothing going on in my life. feel free to change that.
love,
me


dear boys who don't fit into the prime attraction window,
i have some friends who would love to meet you.
love, me


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