dear boys (complete with pictures)

okay, maybe pictures was misleading. graphics would probably have been more accurate, but whatever.

dear boys (yes, all of you),
my attraction to you is directly proportionate to your height. within reason.

i don't know what else to tell you here. be tall, the end.

love,

me

dear boys (yes, all of you),

there is a direct link between your age and my attraction to you as well

fyi, this will change in direct proportion to my age, so getting older won't help you unless it happens overnight. good luck with that.

love,

me

dear boys who fit into the prime attraction window,

it occurs to me that there are a myriad of reasons you are not asking me out, but just in case one of those reasons is that you think i'm busy, let me assure you, i am not.

see? solid proof that i have almost nothing going on in my life. feel free to change that.

love,

me

dear boys who don't fit into the prime attraction window,

i have some friends who would love to meet you.

love, me

30 by 30 update

so, my thirtieth birthday is coming up. like fast. weird. anyway, i figured i ought to share an update on my 30 by 30 list. sadly, i have been unable to fully complete the list, but i made some good progress and, in my defense, i was injured for the last 7 months and unable to do some of them. i know that sounds like a lame excuse, and maybe it is, but i'm kind of okay with that. on that note, if you happen to be equipped to help with any of these in the next 3 weeks that would be awesome.
for your viewing pleasure i have highlighted changes in red.

1. ride in a hot air balloon
2. complete a triathlon (not yet, but i did a biathlon with my sister. i think that should count.)
3. run the race to robie creek (check)
4. live alone (check)
5. write a book
6. learn to surf
7. snowboard
8. have an epic food fight (check and check)
9. attend the world championship porcupine races (check)
10. go scuba diving
11. kayak
12. learn to drive stick (check. sort of. i still suck at it, but at least i know how, right?)
13. water ski
14. sing on stage (check)
15. eat on a rooftop
16. sell a piece of art
17. go rock climbing
18. travel to a foreign country
19. read the book of mormon from start to finish (check)
20. cartwheel across a city street
21. watch a sunset and stay up for the sunrise
22. complete the rory gilmore reading list
23. be a better person (a work in progress) 
24. be on jeopardy
25. go snorkeling (check)
26. visit new york (check)
27. be awesome (check)
28. fall in love (check)
29. learn to play an instrument
30. attend the festival of colors (check)

inception

is it weird that sometimes i watch inception just to see the hallway fight? no. not weird at all. i mean, let's just be honest, it is basically the coolest fight scene ever filmed. c'mon, a fight in a hotel hallway in which gravity is continually shifting since the hallway only exists in a dream and the dreamer is in a tumbling van (but really the van only exists in a dream and he's actually in an airplane)? brilliant. i think i might go watch it again. you can join me if you like

call professor x because i am a certified mutant

it's true. i'm a mutant. extra vertebrae? check! just waiting for my superpowers to kick in.

in which i remember that i have a blog and attempt to catch you up on my life

as if you care. just in case you do, here's the reader's digest version of the last, oh, i don't know, 5 months of my life. 

march:
ummmmm... march was a really long time ago. i don't remember anything exceptional from the month. oops.

april:
ran beat coach pete. didn't beat pete. but i did run my fastest 5k ever and he beat me by less than 2 minutes. i'm okay with that.

exactly one week later i ran robie!!! for real. 13.1 miles, most of it uphill and i did it all by myself. okay. not ALL by myself, i had a friend who ran it with me-the first 2 and a half miles anyway, then he left me in his dust. the point is, i finished. check that off the 30 by 30 list!

may: 
finished up the semester at school and got hired by the boise art museum to teach a summer art class. i'm kind of a big deal.

june: 
taught the summer art class at the museum. so much fun. the kids were great and it was nice to be able to focus exclusively on art for a bit. we did a variety of projects focusing on the current exhibit featuring art from africa and from papua new guinea as well as native american art.
took a trip to yellowstone with the fam. was treed by an elk. 2 of them actually. for real, that happened. it was kind of the coolest thing that has ever happened to me and all i could think was "crap! i left my camera in the car!"

july:
work, work, work. no worries though, my job is awesome. i mean where else could you work where dressing like this is not only acceptable, but encouraged?

i have also dressed as wonder woman, the golden snitch (from harry potter), one of the muses from disney's hercules, and cyndi lauper. this week is a toss up between yzma (from the emperor's new groove) and dorothy (from the wizard of oz) and the week after that i'm going as little bo peep. have i mentioned that i love my job?!

other things that have happened recently:
i have a herniated disc in my back which is pinching my sciatic nerve. it's pretty much the most painful thing ever and i am currently unable to do anything physical (volleyball, running, tying my own shoes). it sucks, but that's just part of life i guess
i was hired to work in the outreach program at the art museum for the school year. i'm just that awesome.

i guess that's it. okay, back to life as usual and regular posting!

tricksy hobbitses

exactly

if...?

today at work we played "if...?" which is just a silly made-up game where you ask a bunch of silly made-up questions that start with the word "if" and then everybody answers them. i have no idea how this game started but it has become a "thing" and we play it regularly. anyway, one of my teens asked which fictional world i would want to live in if i could live in any fictional world. i have 2 fundamental problems with this question:

1) who's to say that any of these so-called fictitious worlds is actually fictitious? maybe they are all real and we just don't know it yet.
2) it is really really not fair to ask me to choose my favorite nerddom. and let's just be honest, that is precisely what this question is forcing me to do. i am not okay with that!

ask me anything else. anything! i can answer all of the other "if" questions without missing a beat, but this? this is just not fair.

we did determine that if i lived in middle earth i would choose to live with the hobbits. they know how to party. exact words uttered to a room of teenagers explaining this choice.

btw, i finally chose the TARDIS since i would then be able to travel anywhere in time and space, including the other "fictional" worlds, provided they actually exist somewhere in our universe.

i told him he was

i'm WAAAYYYY behind here, and i promise i'm going to catch up, just not today. soon, my pretties. soon. the thing is, it's wednesday so that means dear boys. i know you've missed my posts. i was m.i.a. for a bit because i was super frustrated with boys in genereal and one in particular, but i then i received this little nugget of information

turns out, i've been doing it wrong all these years. obviously, rudy has it all figured out. so here goes nothin'

dear bram,
this is me telling you that you are my boyfriend. there. it's official.
love,
me


do you think it worked???????

Don't ask me what state Idaho is in––news flash––Idaho IS a state.

that's right, my home state is, in fact, a state and it's awesome. A-W-E-S-O-M-E. awesome! i've always thought so myself, but now even buzzfeed agrees. check it!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/reasons-why-idaho-is-the-most-underrated-state-in-the-countr

number 36 is my favorite.

also, please indulge me as i add a few points of my own to round out the list at an even 50:

46. jewel wrote a song about my hometown, which is in idaho


47. potatoes are delicious and we do, in fact, grow more of them than any other state. what would thanksgiving be without those delicious mashed taters? and yours probably came from idaho. we're also the number one producer of trout, austrian winter peas and lentils.


48. idaho is home of the deepest river gorge in north america. hell's canyon is 7,900 feet deep. at it's deepest point, the grand canyon is only 6,000. take that arizona!


49. we can tell where a person is from just by glancing at their license plate. like whoever belonged to this plate was from the boise area. of course, if they have vanity plates, then all we know for sure is that they have vanity plates.


50. i live here, and i'm pretty much the coolest kid you know.

"next week i plan on doing a musical number by ke$ha"

i just found out that ke$sha's ($eriously? a $ instead of an actually s? what, exactly, is the proper pronunciation of a $???) "tik-tok" (not how it's spelled, sweetheart) sold more copies than any beatles single. let me repeat that for you.

Ke$ha's “Tik-Tok” sold more copies than ANY Beatles single

Also more than anything by Adele or Nirvana.

i think i might cry myself to sleep tonight. i mean, i don't completely loathe "tik-tok." i listen to it when i clean and stuff, but COME ON! the beatles are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
more disappointing facts here

okay, rant over. also, i find this video absolutely hilarious ;)