"a lot of people go to school for 7 years..."

"...yeah, they're called doctors"
oh tommy boy...
hey, did i tell you that i've gone back to school? i've gone back to school. wanna see some things that i have learned?
school =  kind of hard.
school + work= definitely hard.
school + work + sleep = super hard. like, rocket science hard.
speaking of rocket science, i know a couple of rocket scientists. i'm cool like that.
the point is, i have given away all of my free time, and i have paid lots of money to do it. what was i thinking?!
i may have made a huge mistake...

well, i'd love to stay and chat, but i have homework to do. boo! homework = no fun. just in case you didn't know.

frankly, dear...

dear boys,

frankly,

me

sincerely musical

i wish my life came with a cleverly devised soundtrack. it would be so much easier to figure out what was going on and what might be coming next. alas, it doesn't work like that. not in real life anyway. in my head though...whole different story my friends. each moment of my life is accompanied by and internal soundtrack, perfectly orchestrated and everything. jealous? you should be. don't worry though, i'm not just bragging here, i'm leading up to something. something awesome. instead of my usual lamentations, i thought i'd share a little musical insight.

dear bram,
this is the song i hear in my head when we talk. listen closely and i think you'll understand why. also, this is the last time i'm going to write to you (unless something changes, that is). i refuse to continue having feelings for you if you refuse to reciprocate.
sincerely,
tired of waiting



dear rudy,
this is the song that runs through my head when we talk. also, i think you're pretty great.
sincerely,
enjoying our chats



dear babyface,
flirting with you is kinda fun, but this is the song i hear in my head as we do
sincerely,
way too old for you

love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably crap

so, at church today we were talking about marriage (big surprise...) and we were asked to make a list of what we are looking for in future spouse. don't hate me, but i hate these lessons. anyway, i decided i would compile a list of deal breakers. i also decided that since i didn't get around to writing a "dear boys" post this week, i would share it with you. without further ado, here is my list-word for word, no amendments, honest to gravy list (which is now taking up residence on my refrigerator):

• alive
• younger than my parents, older than 18
• NOT super creepy
• doesn't make me want to punch him in the face on a regular basis
• tall-ish and/or under 1,000 pounds
• employed
• straight
• NOT a complete moron
• acceptable hygiene practices

you laugh like i'm joking. i'm not. the way i see it, you've gotta cast a wide net-you can always throw them back if they don't measure up, right?

dear you, love me

what do i do on my random, mid-week day off? write a dear boys post, obviously.i also did laundry and got a new driver's license, but that's beside the point.

dear bram,
seriously. ask me out already, or stop being so wonderful. either way. but i would prefer that you date me, just fyi.
impatiently,
me

dear mr. man,
i kind of think you're a jerk. which is sad because you have so much potential to be so great. please get it together and stop being a butthead. for your sake, not mine.
disappointingly,
me

dear mermandy,
i miss you. a lot. and my bracelet broke.
sadly,
me

dear maverik,
sorry about the awkward and depressing conversation monday. i promise to be more fun next time.
apologetically,
me

champion of champions

first of all, i love the olympics. maybe more than is healthy, but i love them. another time i will regale you with all the reasons why, but for now you only need to know that i do.

second of all, i love my friends. i know, i know, that seems like common sense, but i needed to put it out there.

imagine my pleasure when one of my beloved friends posted this little gem on facebook:

though i'm certain the IOC would recoil at the suggestion, i think we should make this happen.

honestly, dear

dear hermit
why is it that every time i decide i'm over you, you go and do something gallant and make me change my mind? and why is it that your chivalrous streak always ends almost immediately, but still not fast enough to save me the heartache? stop. it's not fair and i'm not okay with it anymore.
honestly,
definitely over it.

dear ambiguous
you up and leave town, don't respond to my contacting you and basically don't talk to me for 3 months and then you fb me and we have the lamest conversation in the world. what did you think would happen? i'm sorry, but we can't just pick up where we left off as if nothing has changed. mostly because things have changed. that's how life works.
honestly,
kind of annoyed

dear stargazer
you have amassed more hero points than anyone else in the history of hero points. why are you so young? and short? pretty sure this is going nowhere, but you may still redeem your hero points. did you think i was going to revoke them? i don't roll like that.
honestly,
a little disappointed

dear bram
i don't know what to do with the knowledge that you (have) talk(ed) about me with other people. i mean, i talk about you with other people, but that's because i think you should date me. does your conversation mean the same thing? i somehow doubt it, but if that is the case you should just know that i am ready and willing.
honestly,
a bit confused

ATC

acronyms are great aren't they? i love 'em. love 'em enough to make up my own. lots. mostly at work. sometimes, i just get tired of saying "that's not club appropriate" so instead i say "NCA." it's quite convenient really.

sometimes, i use an acronym so the kids don't know what i'm talking about. for instance: "GCH." when they ask what it means i simply say "if you don't know, you don't need to."

sometimes, the acronym is created to make something seem more serious than it really is, because that can be funny sometimes. like with "SBS" (soggy bottom syndrome). "don't sit on the couch when you are wet or you will give the next person SBS and that's just not a disease we want to spread."

sometimes, i am forced to invent a new acronym to describe a particular happening for which there are no other words and which i am certain will reoccur. such is the case with the newest addition to my collection. ATC which will henceforth and forever stand for Awkward Teen Conversations.

if you've never spent a significant amount of time with a teenager while not a teenager yourself, you may not grasp the fact that teens are awkward. all the time. i'm not talking about general teen awkwardness. i'm talking about above and beyond the call of duty, stranger than strange, lurpy, super awkwardness. the kind of awkward that makes everyone around them feel awkward. okay, okay, i'll probably use for general awkwardness too. i'm also going to exploit the weirdness and share it with you.

call it cruel, but i just think these things should be shared. i don't want to be the only one making fjun of these kids behind their backs! they'll probably grow out of it anyway.

today's installment of ATC comes to us courtesy of tommy. get used to that name, you'll see it a lot.

tommy (to terry): "i'm going to rip out your beard and take it and touch your sideburns."
terry: ... *confused look to accompany uncomfortable silence

dear author

dear bram,
i do not particularly care for your book. however, you have provided a suitable nickname for a certain someone so i thank you.
sincerely,
disappointed

dear shakespeare,
why did you even write romeo and juliet? genuinely one of my very least favorite literary works of all time. it doesn't help that everybody and their dog thinks it's super romantic. it's not. not at all.

sincerely,
confused

dear tolkien,
i know there are people who will hate me for this, but i've never much cared whether or not people agree with me so i'm just going to put this out there: the hobbit is about a hundred times better than the rest of your books. i'm genuinely looking forward to the movie release.
sincerely,
excited

run, forrest, run!

my sweet sister talked me into doing the preston biathlon with her this year. so after work friday, my mom and i booked it over to arimo (where my sis lives) to stay the night and then j and i got up at the buttcrack-of-dawn to head into preston for the race. i can't remember the last time i was awake at 5:30 in the morning but i assure you it won't happen again for a LOOOOONG time

we picked up our race packet and i'm sure glad our goody bag contained some chapstick because i definitely forgot mine at the house. i don't know if you've ever run with chapped lips, but it is NOT great fun. not for me anyway. round about 7:00 we lined up to start the race. my leg (the running part) was first. i've been training, so i knew i could finish, but i'm not very fast and i didn't want to give j the worst ever start so i pushed myself pretty hard during the first part of the race. mistake. i was really starting to feel it as i approached the halfway point/water station where we turned around to head back to the bikes. the runners at the front of the pack were cheering for those of us at the back of the pack as they passed. don't get me wrong, it was great to have some encouragement, but i must have looked pretty awful for them to cross the street to high five me. good gravy!

oh yeah, and they ran out of cups at the water station before i even got there. boo!

long story short, i made it back and i didn't die. i also didn't give j a very good start for her leg (the biking part) which was about 5 times longer than mine anyway, but i achieved my goal of not walking at all and there was a little fan club at the finish line cheering me on. mom and dad, boogs, tan man, j, and uncle gwyll even came up from logan to watch.

sometimes, i look ridiculous. this is one of those times.

j looking good at the start of the bike leg

dad and gwyll chatting it up

we're number one! seriously, look at our bib number :)

all in all, i'm really glad i did it, even if i am incredibly sore. oh, and did i mention that we got t-shirts for participating? shoot, i'll do most anything if i get a t-shirt at the end ;)